The Croods: A New Age

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Once the dinosaurs reclaim these wretched plains, they’ll see the slanderous media content made about them. Comics where T-Rex's can’t tie their shoes, frozen mammals mocked endearingly by caricatures of modern society. When it all comes crumbling down, the Croodaceous Creatures found within The Croods: A New Age will have the last laugh. Their vibrant colour schemes burnt onto every screen brave enough to even consider showcasing the latest colourful shlock from the sickeningly twisted minds of DreamWorks Studios and Universal Pictures. Nightmare fuel for all ages, presented on a bed of big-name stars, up-and-coming animators and just a splash of frustration from everyone involved, audience included.

Fluttering moments of brief comedy can be found in The Croods: A New Age. Certainly not enough to warrant a viewing, especially considering most of these moments are indeed found in the teaser trailer. Such an incredible cast should be up to the challenge of tackling less than stellar dialogue. Six writers collate their finest ideas and come up with a film that can barely survive its ninety-minute running time. Nicolas Cage’s antics are, as ever, expectedly inviting, but Emma Stone and Ryan Reynolds don’t channel their finest work. Who can blame them? This isn’t a project that will inspire much artistic success for anyone involved, especially not Leslie Mann or Peter Dinklage, the two littering the supporting cast with forgettable voice support.

Everything about this product smacks of unremarkable filmmaking. Make no mistake, this is not a work of artistic creativity or engaged freedom, this is a product. Crafted, written, made and sold to sell merchandise to yapping brats clamouring for Stone Age action figures. Slick animation laughs in the face of unique quality or stylish interest. The Croods: A New Age presents a squeaky-clean style that would make Illumination, the madmen and women behind the atrocities of Despicable Me, blush with embarrassment. Worryingly enough is the lack of substance found within, no depth to either the returning characters or the new additions. Jokes that feel supremely dated, chastising those that watch television or don’t embrace the swift changes of modernity.

Squirming uncomfortably under expectedly safe family comedy, The Croods: A New Age will do nothing to inspire or engage its audience. Filmmaking is stuck between a rock and a hard place, but ushering in sequels to shoddily poor, forgotten comedies of years before is not the approach studios should take, especially if they’re wanting to get exasperated parents and shouting children back to the home of big-screen entertainment. It’ll take far more than Nicolas Cage voicing a vaguely jaded caveman to get people back to the cinema. Immediately forgettable, although that does seem to be the intended impact director Joel Crawford is looking to make.



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