Moonfall
LIONSGATEThere are universal constants that can be counted on occurring like clockwork, such as the sun setting or the ocean tides rising and receding. One of these constants that can be counted on more than anything else is that every few years or so, Roland Emmerich will re-emerge and deliver unto us a vision of unbridled destruction. Moonfall, Emmerich’s latest disaster film, is incredibly fitting of that moniker. The movie is a self-serious, overlong, by-the-numbers “save the world” story filled with Emmerich’s usual cliches and tropes, and yet somehow the sheer ridiculousness on display leads to genuine hilarity, though that might not be what those involved had in mind.
Moonfall is about the moon . . . falling. Scientist KC Houseman (played by Game of Thrones’ John Bradley) discovers that the moon itself is drifting out of orbit and will soon crash into the surface of Earth. Along with NASA head Jocinda ( Halle Berry) and disgraced former astronaut Brian (Patrick Wilson), the trio form a plan to venture out to the moon and put an end to whatever is causing this anomaly.
To criticise the filmmaking of Moonfall would be like to criticise the plot structure of an eight year old playing with their action figures. Sure, the cinematography is bland and the editing genuinely amateur – entire scenes of impertinent information feel missing or altogether incomplete – but at this point in Emmerich’s career, those are more features of the movie than anything, with some scenes jumping together so randomly and thoughtlessly it brought out genuine laughs. The visual effects are hit or miss, some scenes actually set in space when the sci-fi nonsense really kicks in are genuinely impressive, and others look like grey, cgi models getting an equally grey, cgi moon thrown at them. The script might be what fails this movie the most. All the emotional beats are completely undercut by terrible, generic dialogue, and every character is a carboard cutout of what you’ve seen in Emmerich’s films before. They’re all here: the main, divorced protagonist with an estranged son, the business minded head of a company who buries herself in work, and the geeky, outcast scientist character who ends up being the hero. A script so lacking in ambition of character normally would kill a movie, but by the third act the story had reached such a point of such lunacy (no pun intended) that it’s hard not to be in awe of.
With the exception of Bradley, who manages to not be completely annoying and unironically charming at points, the cast is side-splittingly abysmal. Patrick Wilson sleepwalks his way through this one, the square jawed, white bread astronaut act coming off as very silly and disingenuous. Halle Berry might just be the MVP of awful here, giving a performance so wooden and cheesy it could’ve been a charcuterie board. The rest of the cast is rounded out by actors who clearly just showed up on the day or were not invested in the material.
There’s a lot to dislike about Moonfall. It’s sloppily made, poorly written, and terribly acted with enough corn to fill out a Thanksgiving side-dish. But somehow, all of these elements blended together creates a movie that cannot help but be laughed at AND with, wrapping the audience up in the sheer silliness of it all and blasting off. A brainless disaster flick for the ages.