Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore
WARNER BROSLet’s be blunt here: Fantastic Beasts: The Secrets of Dumbledore is the worst installment in the Wizarding World franchise overall and makes the case that no more Potterverse-related titles should ever release. David Yates, who directed the later Harry Potter films with aplomb – Order of the Phoenix is one of the greatest fantasy films ever made – has completely run out of gas and barely attempts to make J.K. Rowling’s Wizarding World as visually enticing and whimsical as it should be, or even able to echo the once outstanding foundation that built it.
Rowling is also a terrible screenwriter – and an overall despicable human being, but that’s for another story – because she can’t write anything that has any sense of pace whatsoever. That was a problem with its first film, but it was excused for being the first installment in a five-film franchise. The Secrets of Dumbledore is supposed to open the door for the franchise’s last two movies, even if it has pretty much resolved everything the first two Beasts films set up, after a languishing 142-minutes of wizards “confusing” Gellert Grindelwald (Mads Mikkelsen, replacing Johnny Depp after he was forced to exit the film by Warner Bros) for complicated reasons. Well, not so complicated.
Apparently, Grindelwald can see into the future – through car windows and puddles of blood it seems – and know what Albus Dumbledore (Jude Law) and his merry band of Hogwarts wizards are doing. So it’s up to Newt Scamander (Eddie Redmayne), his brother Theseus (Callum Turner), Yusuf Kama (William Nadylam), Bunty Broadcare (Victoria Yeates), muggle Jacob Kowalski (Dan Fogler), and newcomer Eulalie Hicks (Jessica Williams) to confuse Grindelwald as he plans to take over the ministry of Magic, through the most insane rigged election plan imaginable, so he can start a war between wizards and muggles. Kama becomes a spy in Grindelwald’s army, while the others go on pointless side-quests, all the while Credence Barebone (or Aurelius Dumbledore, played by Ezra Miller) plans to kill Albus after allegedly being lied to.
Newt rescues Theseus, while Jacob and Eulalie get close to Grindelwald and his former lover – Queenie Goldstein (Alison Sudol), who, in the last film, joined the dark wizard in his quest for power. While it doesn’t advance the main plot of the film, Newt rescuing Theseus is the best sequence overall, perfectly capturing the playful heart and spirit of an early Potter film. It also helps to have Peter Simonischek in the scene to give impeccable comedic relief that no one else would have been able to do, but Redmayne and Turner’s chemistry fires on all cylinders here, especially when they have to imitate the swiveling movements of a crab-like creature. Turner proved to be a great addition to the cast in The Crimes of Grindelwald and remains a highlight.
Redmayne gives his best iteration of the character yet, too, brilliantly capturing his awkwardness, but retaining the big heart he has for not only humans but the wizarding community, including his old flame Tina Goldstein (Katherine Waterston, in a minor role). Mikkelsen is a much better pick to play Grindelwald than Depp, and he gives the film’s best performance by a mile. From the very first scene, it is clear that he was the right actor to portray the antagonist – and the one that should’ve portrayed him from the get-go! Colin Farrell was a great choice, in the first film, too – and brings an incredible amount of emotional depth and torment to the character. His exterior is menacing and overconfident, but once you peel back and examine who he is inside, there’s a certain vulnerability to the character that Mikkelsen exudes, but Depp didn’t, particularly in scenes where he converses with Jude Law’s Albus Dumbledore, who is always terrific.
The film doesn’t fail in its performances. Everyone gives their A-game, even if the script takes the long way to a climax that fails at being in any way exciting. Aside from the aforementioned Theseus rescue scene, the movie lacks a serious sense of urgency and thrills. The action sequences are surprisingly un-exciting, which is especially disappointing coming from the man who made wand fights the coolest thing ever in Order of the Phoenix and Deathly Hallows Part 1. But what’s even more disappointing is how Yates and cinematographer George Richmond aren’t interested in crafting a somewhat visually interesting movie. Most action sequences are buried under a sea of “murky” digital cinematography, meaning that dark scenes are very dark, and lighter scenes look as bland as anything.
In the last feature, there were many visually engaging action sequences; particularly Grindelwald’s escape and the “Finite!” climax, but The Secrets of Dumbledore seems to have run out of all possibilities to make wand fights – in an alternate dimension! Come on! – cool when Yates was the first Harry Potter director to have perfected the mere visual potential of “wand fights” where other filmmakers – such as Alfonso Cuaron and Mike Newell – failed miserably. There isn’t a single action sequence in this movie that is memorable. Theseus and Newt’s escape is fun, because of the performances from Redmayne and Turner, not necessarily because of the action, of which the audience doesn’t get to see much because of how dark the cinematography is. And even when the movie reaches its climax, where wands appear galore and spells get cast, many have already checked out by then.
And it’s not surprising that it is currently opening at the lowest grosses of the franchise yet. Some will blame the BA.2 sub-variant of COVID, which Warner Bros. could use as an excuse to greenlight the remaining two movies, but the series was already on its way out when controversies surrounding J.K. Rowling, Johnny Depp, and Ezra Miller plagued the film’s production and when David Yates decided to give up. There’s no more passion behind his vision for the Wizarding World. He accepts the paycheck and directs it with mild attention.
But for Fantastic Beasts to succeed, Rowling should never be allowed to write another one ever again. Other than the obvious fact that she has single-handedly tarnished her brand through her anti-trans/TERF views on social media and alienated her fanbase in the process, she simply cannot write a compelling script. Writing her scripts like a book, and the author seems to have no idea that a two-and-a-half-hour film is not paced in the same way as a 500-page book. It’s a good thing that the performances keep the film mildly engaging because another director – and writer – is desperately needed to revitalise this once engaging and fascinating Wizarding World, a once-great franchise that has sunk to unimaginable lows.