Bullet Train
SONYDavid Leitch returns to the world of high-octane action movies with Bullet Train. Based on the novel of the same name – though released in Japan as Maria Beetle – by Kōtarō Isaka, the film stars Brad Pitt as Ladybug, an assassin returning to work after a brief stint in therapy. His mission is simple: board a bullet train, grab a briefcase, and get off. But it obviously overcomplicates itself, as there wouldn’t be any movie left if it was too simple. While Ladybug looks for the case, brothers Lemon (Brian Tyree Henry) and Tangerine (Aaron Taylor-Johnson) must return the case to a man named The White Death (Michael Shannon) and his son (Logan Lerman) in Kyoto. Meanwhile, another mercenary named The Prince (Joey King) draws one of The White Death’s mercenaries (Andrew Koji) to the train to open the case and rig explosives in it, in an attempt to kill The White Death. Once Ladybug retreives the case, he tries to get off but receives a visit from The Wolf (Benito A. Martinez Ocasio), and everything goes awry from there.
To reveal more of Bullet Train would mean spoiling some of the fun the film hides – including two of the most surprising cameos of the year – but there’s no denying how overstuffed, and overlong, the entire premise of the film is. While this could’ve been a “lean ‘n mean” actioner boasting one of the best ensembles in recent memory, Leitch and screenwriter Zak Olkewicz stretch the film to interminable heights, to the point where it never feels like the movie wants to end. Dialogue and action scenes stop mid-sequence to deliver a compilation flashback on how many people Lemon and Tangerine killed – featuring a new song from Engelbert Humperdinck – or the origin of how a bottle of Fiji Water ended up in the bullet train’s trashcan. This type of meta-comedy didn’t work in Leitch’s Deadpool 2, and are stretched to more-than-annoying heights in Bullet Train.
Any attempt at emotional momentum or some sort of build-up between the characters immediately get tarnished when the film stops to crack an elongated joke. Some of the flashbacks are essential to get an ounce of character development or to understand the protagonists’ backstories. However, the movie will stop too many times to count to tell one unfunny joke after the end that it won’t take long before someone in the cinema yells out, “Oh, just get on with it!” During its climax, there are about five instances in which one could think the movie will end any minute now. Yet it keeps going and never stops to halt its pacing for more jokes nobody in the audience asked for. It’s almost as if Leitch wanted to test the audience's patience, because his two-hour and six-minute film almost feel longer than S.S. Rajamouli’s RRR – which was three hours and seven minutes and yet feels like it lasts ninety.
Leitch and Olkewicz don’t know how to pace their film, which isn’t good when the general premise of it is a fast-paced, star-studded action film set in a bullet train. The general rule of thumb for a film like this is to keep it simple while focusing on the action and the performances to make it a memorable ride – no pun intended – at the cinema. But the film is too busy crafting overextended joke scenes that it forgets to draw interesting characters inside elaborate action scenes with some weight to them. None of the action scenes have any weight, or legitimate stakes, since every character is a walking and talking joke machine, even if the film’s aesthetic sensibilities are by far its best part.
Credit where credit is due: the lead actors, particularly Pitt, Taylor-Johnson, Tyree Henry, and Hiroyuki Sanada, do their best with the material they’re given. Pitt has an ageless natural charm that makes him one heck of a compelling lead. He doesn’t need to do much to sell his performance, even if the material he receives is lackluster. But he’s able to make it work because he’s always known how to deliver lines in the most effective manner and doesn’t need to be directed by Leitch. He shares somewhat entertaining chemistry with Taylor-Johnson, who in turn has fun banter with Tyree Henry.
Sanada also steals the show when he monologues with Pitt during the film’s most – scratch that: the only – emotional scene. But most of the film’s amazing cast, from King, Koji, Lerman Zazie Beetz, Bad Bunny, Sandra Bullock, Masi Oka, and Karen Fukuhara are completely wasted in limited roles that insult the talents they could’ve brought to the film if their characters had any depth instead of doing virtually nothing most of the time. Shannon is particularly dreadful in this movie, utilising the fakest accent possible which completely derails his performance as the primary antagonist. He usually plays great villains – see General Zod in Man of Steel – but his performance in Bullet Train as The White Death is a complete misfire.
It is a good thing that the film’s action sequences are competently shot by Jonathan Sela, Leitch’s cinematographer of choice, as tightly choreographed as they’ve always been from David Leitch. There’s one thing he knows how to do well, and it’s shoot cathartic action with one of the best cinematographers working today, consistently pushing his visual palette to exciting heights. The use of neon colors during one of the fight scenes in a Momomon cart with an impeccably placed corkscrew shot is a major highlight and a dizzying feat to witness on an IMAX screen. During the climax, all bets are off–heads and limbs get chopped in fascinatingly creative ways, which upped the catharsis a bit. It’s a shame that all of this momentum stops multiple times to showcase two unnecessary flashback sequences to get a laugh out of the audience they do not need.
Bullet Train doesn’t seem to understand that not everything has to be a joke and that pacing matters more than anything else. If an audience member is bored within the first twenty minutes, chances are they will not be invested in the rest. Leitch and Olkewicz don’t seem to be interested in crafting a compelling action film that puts its dazzling setpieces first with gripping characters attached to the mix. As a result, what could’ve been one of the best action films of the year is one of the most disappointing, and forgettable studio films made in recent memory. It’s criminal to cast Zazie Beetz, Masi Oka, Karen Fukuhara and Logan Lerman in the movie and waste their talents like this, not to mention making Michael Shannon, one of the best contemporary actors, a complete joke. But that seems to be Bullet Train’s modus operandi: turn everything (and everyone) into a complete joke. And guess what? It doesn’t work.